Now That I Have You
by SusieDevereaux
Summary: Sophie feels broken and she thinks no one could ever help. But Nate has other ideas so he tries to fix her. Can he help her?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: ****This wasn't supposed to have chapters. But it was turning out too big so I decided to split it. Hope you like and please review so that I know if I should keep writing or should I delete it.**

**I know this chapter is really small, but the others will be longer.**

Whenever Parker went to visit Sophie, she'd always entered by the window. She'd peeked inside, that was her way of 'knocking'. She did peek, but what she saw, was not expected. Sophie was seated in the bathroom floor, blood all over the place, her head leaning against the wall, crying and with a razor blade on her hand.

Parker instantly got in the house and ran towards Sophie in an urge to help her.

"Parker? What are you doing here?"

"Sophie…?"

"GET OUT!"

Parker just stared at the other woman. She wanted to help her, so she bent down and grabbed the Grifter's arms trying to pick her up. "Come on Sophie we have to get you to Nate, he knows what to do."

"NO! Just leave. No one knows what do to, no one can help me! Let me just stay here by myself! You all just hurt me, so just let me here, please!"

Sophie's words had hurt Parker, she wanted to cry, just wanted grab Bunny and curled herself in her bed and cry. Instead she goes to the Brewery and finds Hardison there working on some prototype. Parker's eyes were red because she had been crying on her way over and Hardison could see that.

"What's up Boo? Why have you been crying?"

"Sophie is cutting herself!" Parker says the words before she can stop them and a sob escapes from her lips.

"What?!"

"Sometimes I go to her house in the morning, she makes pancakes and we have breakfast together. So today I went there and…" She took a deep breath "And she was seated on floor, crying and bleeding. I wanted to help her and she started screaming at me. She said we're all hurting her and no one can help her"

Hardison was in shock. He just hugged Parker while she cried on his shoulder. There was nothing on Sophie's behave that indicated that she was cutting herself. He was also a little hurt by Sophie's words but he knew she was not on her right state of mind and she didn't really meant them. He also knew that Sophie needed help. "We have to tell Nate."

Suddenly the doors open and Nate appears. "Tell Nate what?"


	2. Chapter 2

_Suddenly the doors open and Nate appears. "Tell Nate what?"_

Nate walked in and put his car keys on a table. He sensed the air very heavy and he knew something was wrong. He thought it had something to do with Eliot or Sophie since they were the ones not present. He instantly forgot the 'Eliot option' when the Hitter entered in the brewery. Eliot seemed fine, until he noticed that Nate, Hardison and Parker did not had happy faces, which got him worried too, he saw how protectively Hardison was holding Parker who was crying and how angry and scared Nate's face was.

"Where is Sophie?" Nate asked in a low, worried and terrified voice. Even though he was trying to sound calm.

Neither Hardison nor Parker had the courage to tell Nate that the woman he loves has been cutting herself. Both were looking down. Eliot was watching the scene, waiting for someone to say what the hell was going on and where the hell Sophie was.

"WHERE IS SOPHIE? WHAT HAPPENED TO HER?" This time Nate didn't even tried to sound calm, he just wanted someone to tell him what was wrong with his Grifter. All kinds of scenarios were popping in his mind. They had pissed off so many powerful and dangerous men that anyone could want revenge.

"She…" Parker looked down again and tears kept rolling down her face, she took a deep breath and continued with a shaky voice "Sophie cuts herself."

"WHAT?!" Eliot's voice was not calm at all. He was in shock just like Hardison.

Nate stared at Parker with wide eyes. He did not want believe on what he had just heard. Fear, confusion, terror were running through his body all at once. "Where is she?!" Parker just stared at him. "Tell me!" Nate said in his best command voice as he walked towards Parker, put his hands on her shoulders and shook her.

"She's at her apartment. At least that's where she was when I left her."

"What do you mean you left her?"

"I went there this morning and I saw her seated on the bathroom floor crying and cutting herself and there was blood all over the place."

"AND YOU LEFT HER THERE? ARE YOU CRAZY?"

"Hey! Don't scream at her, this is not her fault!" Hardison said with a very firm voice, defending Parker.

"She was screaming at me, telling me to leave her there!"

"How deep were the cuts?"

"I don't know…" The Thief said in a very low voice, almost impossible to hear.

"You don't know…" Nate replied sarcastically "Was there a lot of blood on the floor?"

"Yes…" Parker said almost a whisperer.

"AND YOU LEFT HER THERE? SHE CAN BE DEAD BY NOW!" Nate grabbed his car keys from the little table and stormed off to Sophie's apartment.

The other three members just watched him go.

"Shouldn't someone go after him?"

"No, Hardison." Eliot said firmly "Let him handle it, he knows what to do."

Parker started crying, again, sobbing "This is my fault, isn't it?"

"No, mama. Don't say that. And we all gotta keep strong. For Sophie."

**A/N: Thank you all for the reviews on the first chapter. I know this chapter isn't much bigger than the other, but this is just my second story, I'm still new in this 'Writing FanFic' world. Please review and let me know what do you think.**


	3. Chapter 3

_"No, mama. Don't say that. And we all gotta keep strong. For Sophie."_

**Chapter 3**

Nate left the brewery and instantly got in his car. "I'm coming, Soph," Nate said to himself. He was driving through the streets of Portland like a madman. He passed so many red traffic lights but, honestly, he didn't care, all he wanted was to get to Sophie, to help her, to hold her and tell her that everything was going to be okay. Part of his mind was afraid of what he might find when he get to Sophie's apartment. In what state would she be, how would she react when she'd see him, or not even react at all.

He finally got there. Nate almost jumped out of the car and started to run towards the building. He ran up the stairs three steps at a time. _Why does Sophie has to live in a 5__th__ floor_ e thought. Finally he reached Sophie's apartment's door. Nate knocked on it. No answer. He knocked louder this time. Again no answer. He tried opening the door but it was locked. So he decided to kick it.

"SOPH… SOPHIE?" Nate got to the bathroom and instantly saw the same scenario as Parker, only this time Sophie was passed out! He checked for pulse, thank God it was still there. She looked so pale, almost dead.

Nate shoves his hand in his pocket and grabs his phone, dials 911.

"_This is 911. What's your emergency?" _

"Umm… I just found my wife passed out. She-she was cutting herself, I don't know, there's blood everywhere!"

"_Okay, sir, just tell me your address."…_

About 10 minutes later the ambulance arrived. Nate watched as they put Sophie's unconscious body on a stretcher, as they took her to the ambulance, as they put an oxygen mask on her face. He didn't let go of her hand for one second. They let Nate go in the ambulance.

"Can't you go faster?!" When Nate asked this, it had been the only second he had take his eyes off of Sophie's still unconscious body.

15 minutes later they arrived to the nearest hospital.

_"Woman on her early 40's, found by her husband, unconscious, several cuts on her wrists."_

"The cuts look deep. Okay, let's take her to the ICU, NOW" A doctor said to the nurses around him.

"I can go with her, right?"

"Excuse me sir, what's your name?" A nurse asked.

"Nate Ford"

"Okay, Mr. Ford, my name is Jackie. You can't get in the ICU, but I promise I'll tell you as soon as I know something about Mrs. Ford's condition."

And with that the nurse walked away to the ICU. Nate just stood there, numb. When he got himself together he finally realized that the others must be worried too. Grabbing his phone he called Hardison telling him that he had found Sophie, unconscious, that he called an ambulance and now that they were at the hospital.

The other three got there really quick. They got to the ICU family waiting room where they saw Nate pacing up and down the room.

"Hey, man, how is she?"

"I don't know, they haven't told me anything yet!" Nate approached the nurse station and before he could ask anything the nurse, named Jackie, approached him.

"Mr. Ford?"

Nate turned around, facing the woman. "How is she?"

"She is okay, we've stitched up the cuts. The doctor must be here at any minute to tell you everything."

"Oh thank God. Thank you." Nate returned to the room where Hardison, Parker and Eliot were waiting to hear news from the Grifter. "She's alive!"

Everybody breathed of relieve. A couple of minutes later the doctor came to talk to them.

"Mr. Ford, I'm Dr. O' Hara. So Mrs. Ford's condition was bad, if you haven't found her when you did it might had been too late." Nate flinched at those words, just the thought of it. "We've stitched up the cuts, but our worried was that she lost a lot of blood, so we did a blood transfusion and her body reacted well, she must be waking up anytime now."

"May I see her?"

"They're transferring her to her room now. Then a nurse will come to escort you to her room."

"Thank you, doctor."

"Mr. Ford… Mrs. Ford tried to kill herself, you know that. Do you know the reason?"

Nate looked down, just thinking that Sophie could ever want to kill herself. "No, doctor, I don't know why."

"Okay, well we'll provide psychological care too. Is that okay with you, Mr. Ford?"

"Yes, yes, that's okay. She needs it"

About 5 minutes later Jackie comes to show them Sophie's room.

"Mr. Ford, only one person can come in and for just five minutes. Mrs. Ford needs to rest."

Nate looked back to the others who nodded, letting him be the one seeing Sophie first.

He entered the room, she was still sleeping. But she looked much better now than when he had found her. She had bandages around her wrists. Nate pulled a chair beside the table and sat down, holding Sophie's hand and stroking her cheek with his free hand. Then he felt her stirring a bit, he realized she was starting to wake up.

"Am I dead?" Sophie asked with a very low and weak, almost a whisperer, voice and her eyes still closed.

"No, love, you're not…" Nate said kissing her forehead.

Sophie fall back a sleep and Nate started to think of everything that had happened in the lats couple of hours. He start sobbing, the priority was to Sophie get better so he could take her home with him and never leave her again. But he needed to know what made Sophie feel so bad. She really wanted to be dead… But why?

**A/N: So this chapter is a little bit longer. Sorry that I took so long to update but, blame school! The next one will have a conversation between Nate and Eliot about Sophie. Hope you liked this chapter! Looking forward to read your reviews! Please keep them coming. **


	4. Chapter 4

_She really wanted to be dead… But why?_

**Chapter 4**

Nate, supposedly, couldn't spend the night on Sophie's room. Bu he didn't cared about the rules. All he wanted was to be near Sophie.

It was morning now, and the rest of the team was there again. Nate was still inside Sophie's room, holding her hand and waiting for her to wake up. Just as she started to wake, Doctor O'Hara entered the room.

"Good morning Mr. Ford."

Nate mumbled good morning to the doctor, his eyes never leaving Sophie.

"So, I'm gonna ask you to wait outside, I have to do some tests on Mrs. Ford, who I see is getting better."

Nate remained in his sit, not wanting to leave Sophie there.

"Just 5 minutes, Mr. Ford." The doctor assured him.

Nate nodded and exited the room, joining Hardison, Parker and Eliot outside. Parker quickly jumped from her sit towards Nate.

"How is she today?"

"Well, she just woke up but the doctor said that it looks like she's getting better." A big smile grew on Parker's face as well as in the boys' faces.

"Hey, I'm gonna get us something to eat. And I'm gonna buy something for Sophie too. Wanna come with me Parker?" The thief nodded and stood up.

"Thanks, Hardison, but I'm not hungry."

"Nate, you have to eat. I'll just bring you a sandwich or something."

Nate didn't really had the energy to argue, so he let Hardison win this one. With Hardison and Parker gone, Nate and Eliot were left alone in the waiting room. The Mastermind sensed that the Hitter wanted to ask him something.

So Nate, with a knowingly look, asked "What do you want to ask?"

"I just… I… Why do you love her so much?" Eliot asked.

"I don't know, I just do." Nate shrugged.

"Very descriptive."

Nate kicked the wall with his foot, kind of hurting himself in the process "What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to say why you love her."

"I can't help it. It's as simple as that. I can't do anything to stop it." He took a breath and ran a hand through his hair, trying to think exactly what it was that Sophie did to him. It felt important to get it right. "She shines."

Nate sat on the chair and looked at Eliot in the eye. "When I was growing up, I had this fantasy of a perfect girl. She never really had a face, but she had a great body and she liked everything about me." He felt himself blush, but knew it was important to carry on. "When I first saw Sophie, I knew it was her. She was my fantasy. I didn't want it to be true, but every time I met her it was obvious, and the funny thing was that she is much better than the fantasy. She is way better then what I had fantasized."

"Like what?"

"She makes me laugh, she knows stuff, she listens. She surprises me, you know, like, she can be calm one minute, then totally out there the next? What else…? She's drop dead gorgeous, she's a mystery. I don't know."

Eliot's eyes softened slightly, and Nate dared to carry on. "I thought I could keep away from her, but I couldn't. Whenever I wasn't with her, I'd think about her. When I didn't see her for a couple of years I thought she didn't care anymore, I went nuts because I was terrified I'd never see her again… I love her that much."

There, he said it out loud and Eliot smiled softly.

Hardison and Parker returned at the same time Doctor O'Hara emerged from Sophie's room.

Nate almost jumped in front of the doctor "So is she doing okay or not?"

"Calm down, she is doing much better. Maybe tomorrow she can return home." Doctor O'Hara smiled at the very worried man.

Just as the doctor was about to go Hardison asked her how many people could be inside Sophie's room. Parker actually hugged the doctor, because she allowed all of them in there.

Nate opened the door slowly and let the other three enter. Sophie gave them a small smile and Hardison dared to be the first to hug Sophie.

"I missed you. Glad you're back Soph." He murmured in her hair. Eliot also gave her a hug. Parker was standing on the bed's bottom. She was avoiding Sophie's gaze. Sophie looking at Parker hoping that the younger woman would look at her. When Parker met Sophie's eyes, Sophie open her arms, the best she could, and Parker run towards Sophie, pulling her in a very tight hug.

"Parker, sweetie, are you crying?"

"It's just that… When I saw you on the floor, you yelled at me… And I thought you were mad and that you hated me." The girl said in between sobs.

"Oh, Parker… I love you! I was just feeling a bit sad, that's all."

"You really love me?" Sophie nodded "You're not lying, are you?" Sophie gave the girl a small chuckle.

Nate stayed at the corner of the room just observing his family interact with each other.

"Brought you a scone, I know how you British people like them."

"Aww, thanks Hardison." She took a bite. "It's really good. A tea would have been nice too, you know…" Eliot handed her a cup of hot tea. "I know you wouldn't forget that, thanks guys"

Eliot knew that the Mastermind and the Grifter needed to talk. So he said he needed Hardison and Parker's help on something so they'd leave the couple alone.

Once the others left, Nate and Sophie just stayed there, staring at each other. Sophie thought she would see hurt on Nate's face for not going to him and asking his help, but no. All she saw was worry, fear, compassion, pain, confusion. Part of her wanted to run away, just disappear and take the blade with her. But then, there was Nate, willing to help her, to hug her whenever she needed, to kiss her whenever she wanted. Nate was the first to break the silence.

"Did you know, the first time I saw you, I thought: 'I've never seen anything more captivating and beautiful'?"

"Why are you telling me this?" Sophie said miserably.

"I saw you, and I wanted to be close to you. I wanted you to let me in. I wanted to know you in a way no one else did. I wanted you, all of you. That wanting nearly drove me mad." Nate paused, inhaling softly, as though breathing Sophie in. "And now that I have you, the only thing that terrifies me, is having to live with the fact that I can lose you any moment!"

Tears started to appear on Sophie's face. The sight of it just broke Nate's heart. Next thing he knew his arms were around her, holding her, protecting her from all the devils in the world.

"I suck!" Sophie cried.

"No, Soph, don't say that. You remind me of the best things in life, my love." Nate took a deep breath, gaining the courage to say what he was going to say next. "When you meet someone you never think about how they will impact your life, but when you look back, you realize that they've changed your life. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed because I am really glad I met you and I have no idea where I would be without you… Maybe lying in a ditch somewhere." Nate gave a small, sad, chuckle. They stayed like that for a few minutes, just holding each other.

"I'm sorry that I didn't seek for your help."

"It's okay, Soph, I'm here, and I'm going to help you. But…" Nate hesitated. He was afraid that she would push him away. "… I need to know what it was that was haunting you."

"Sophie looked down, almost losing it, but she held it together. She had to be strong. "I know, darling. Just… Not today, not here." She said while caressing his cheek. Nate nodded and he was glad he still had her!

**A/N: Thanks for your reviews, they make me keep going with this story. Let me know what you think of this chapter and the conversation between Nate and Eliot about Sophie. Do you think Sophie is going home in the next chapter? Can Nate help her? And why was she cutting herself? Please review and keep reading to know.**


	5. Chapter 5

_Sophie looked down, almost losing it, but she held it together. She had to be strong. "I know, darling. Just… Not today, not here." She said while caressing his cheek. Nate nodded and he was glad he still had her!_

**Chapter 5**

The doctor had given Sophie permission to go home, but just at the end of the day. Nate told her that he was going to her apartment to pick her some clothes and then he'd return to the hospital to take her home, his home.

There he was as he had promised her, ready to take her home. The ride home was made in silence. Nate, from time to time, tried to make a conversation, but Sophie just stared out at the car's window. It was weird. It was like the person standing next to him was a complete different woman, she didn't look like the one he had chased all around Europe, the one that had been working with him the past 5 years, the one he loves! The sparkle in her eyes is missing. He sees in her eyes, though, that she still loves him as much has she always did, but there's something there. Maybe hurt, maybe betrayal or maybe both.

Finally they arrived at Nate's apartment. Again it felt weird… They had so much trust in each other, they used to be so comfortable around each other and now it kind of felt like they were complete strangers, afraid to touch each other or give each other the smallest caress.

"Do you wanna watch something on the TV or do you prefer to go bed? It's late, you probably feel tired…"

Sophie just nodded. Nate held back a sigh of frustration. Why was she putting herself in the dark again? She had been, kind of, open in the hospital when they had their little talk. Now? She wasn't even talking to him.

"Okay, so the bed is ready for you upstairs, umm, so I'm gonna sleep here on the couch. If you need something just call me. Goodnight Soph." With that Nate headed to the couch and started preparing what would be his bed for the night.

Sophie wanted to touch him, she wanted him to hug her, she'd always feel safe in his arms, she wanted to tell him to go to bed upstairs with her. Just as she was about to say it he turned around to the couch. So she looked down and went upstairs.

Sophie tousled and turned for hours. She looked at the little clock that Nate had on his bedside table and it showed 4am. She couldn't stop thinking about what had happen. Part of her knew she had to tell Nate, but at the same time her brain was telling her she couldn't because he'd hate her if she did.

She got up from the bed and went near the window, she looked outside. You couldn't see a single soul and it was dark. Dark… Dark had become one of Sophie's best friends. Whenever it's was dark, Sophie wasn't afraid to just look at a mirror and hate the image that was reflected. Then, Sophie started looking into Nate's drawers. One the first one there was Sam's drawing and some photos of him. One the second one she found a few of the team, any of those had Sophie. She looked under them and found a book of photographs. She opened it and she couldn't believe in what she saw. Hundreds of pictures of her. The first ones were of the times when he was chasing her through the world, there were some of Paris, Venice, Prague, Damascus, Tuscany. The rest of them were photos where she was distracted. There was one of both of them. They were hugging each other and laughing looking into each other's eyes. Sophie felt a tear falling down her cheek. She just loved him so much. If she told him it would break him like it broke her.

Sophie decided to go down stairs to check up on Nate, even if he was sleeping, just to kiss his cheek.

Nate was with his eyes closed but he wasn't sleeping, as much as he tried he couldn't sleep. In fact, he hadn't been sleeping since he had found her surrounded by a pool of blood. Every time he closed his eyes he'd picture Sophie, sitting on the floor, dying. It hurt him a bit to think that Sophie didn't seek for his help or even anyone's help. He was trying to think of something that could broke Sophie so much to the point of self harm.

Suddenly Nate felt familiar soft lips gently kissing his cheek.

"I love you. Hope that no matter what, you don't forget that." Sophie whispered as she gently stroked his forehead. Sophie was going back to bed when…

"Soph…"

"Oh… Um… Sorry I woke you up."

"It's okay I wasn't sleeping. Everything is okay?"

"Yeah, yeah… I was just… Nevermind, I'm going back to bed. Bye."

Nate looked at her for a moment before answering "Bye…"

Sophie took two steps of the stairs, she stopped, took a deep breath, turned around and started walking towards the couch. She sat at the edge and next to Nate's hips

"Actually, I wanted to know, if… If…" Sophie closed her eyes and decided to ask a different question "Do you hate me?"

"What?" Nate looked at her in disbelieve "Soph… I love you. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes."

"Nate…?"

"Yes, love?"

"Can you sleep with me tonight?" Sophie looked like a little fragile child.

"Any night, my love." Nate got up, took her hand in his and led her to the bedroom.

They were lying comfortably in bed, Nate with his arms around Sophie who had her head on his chest as usual.

Sophie started tell Nate a story about a woman there at the hospital, it was actually rather funny story. Sophie suddenly stopped, because Nate was looking at her like he wasn't really paying attention to the actual story but in Sophie.

"What are you doing?"

"Listening to you." He could feel her breath on his face. He loved feeling her warm and soft breath against his skin.

"What do I sound like?" She whispered.

"Beautiful."

They shared a few kisses after that and then both drift to sleep. Things seemed slowly going back to normal.

**A/N: Took a bit to write this chapter cause I was losing the spirit of the story. Sorry. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Why do you think Sophie was cutting herself? And do you think she will ever tell Nate? Please review! Thank you!**


	6. Chapter 6

_They shared a few kisses after that and then both drift to sleep. Things seemed slowly going back to normal._

**Chapter 6**

A week had passed since the incident and Sophie seemed, slowly, be getting better. The team insisted to come visit her. Nate noticed that neither of them dared to even begin to discuss what had happened. He also noticed that Parker hid every sharp object, every pill, every danger in the house.

After the lunch that Eliot had prepared they were seated on the couch watching some weird movie that Hardison picked out.

Sophie got up to get some more tea and Hardison decided to follow her.

"Can I help you with something?" the Grifter smiled at Hardison.

"I just…" Hardison wasn't sure if he should ask her what he wanted, it could make her close up more then what she already was. He decided to ask it anyway. "Have you told Nate what happened? Please do not close up again. Please."

The minute Sophie heard what he asked she felt a wave of darkness wash over her soul. She did thought of closing up more, she thought of lying, but she looked at Hardison and she just couldn't lie right in his face when he was worried like that.

"No…" She answered quietly.

"Have you told someone, your therapist?"

She just shook her head.

"Look, Soph it's not of my business, but I don't think it's doing you any good to keep it all inside." Hardison really wanted to help her. "Remember when you told me that when you're sad and you tell someone that loves you what's wrong, it helps?" Sophie nodded. "We all love you Sophie, we really do! You're like a big sis to me." That at least pop a little smile on her face. "I don't want you to feel guilty but I really think that, at least, you should tell Nate. He's been different. This is killing him Soph."

"I can't! If I tell him, it will kill him even more! It will destroy him! And then he will be broken and I'm broken and I won't be able to pick up the pieces again!"

What could have happen that would break Nate? Hardison knew better than to ask, so he decided to go on a different way "But we'll all be there, me, Parker and Eliot. We'll always be there for you, and Nate. You know that right?"

Sophie had been holding back tears but as she heard Hardison's words she couldn't help but let the tears go. Next thing she knew Hardison's arms were around her, she felt his hands gently rub her back.

"Hey, are you two gonna continue in the kitchen or…" Parker started but stopped when she looked at the kitchen and saw Sophie and Hardison hugging. The other two men also turned their heads to look. All of them had little smiles on their faces.

Sophie pulled back and whipped the tears. She grabbed the hot cup of tea and gave Hardison an acknowledgment smile. Together they returned to their seats on the couch, Sophie next to Nate and Hardison next to Parker. Parker kissed his cheek gently.

"What was that for?! Hardison asked a little taken aback for the sudden kiss, don't get him wrong, he didn't mind.

"For being you."

Nate gently grabbed Sophie's, intertwined their fingers and gave her hand a little squeeze and was rewarded with a smile from the woman he loves with all his heart.

The movie soon ended, and Eliot got up and asked if anyone wanted him to make dinner. Four hands were raised in the air clearly meaning yes.

"Okay, but I need someone to come shopping with me, there's nothing to cook in this house!"

"Fine! We'll go with you!" Hardison said and grabbed Parker's hand.

Once the others left…

"Nate, can I talk to you?"

"Of course!"

Sophie felt so nervous, she had never felt like this before. This seemed to be the most dangerous thing she had ever done in her whole life and she had pretty dangerous things. It took a few minutes to Sophie start talking.

"I think it's time… For, for…You to know what happened."

Nate nodded "Okay… But, only if you're really ready. Okay darling?"

"Yeah, yeah, but you need to know, I mean, you have the right to know! It's just… I'm so afraid you're going to hate me! I mean, I know you are going to hate me, I just…"

"Nothing you can say, and I mean nothing, can ever make me hate you, love! You hear me?"

"Yeah, but you are going to, I know it. And it's normal, I understand. What kind of man wants to be with a woman like me? I mean, I should have told you the minute it happened, but I was afraid. Hell I still am! I'm so afraid I'm going to lose you!"

"Soph…"

Taking a deep breath she decided it was now or never.

"I was pregnant and I lost the baby!" She said in one big breath.

Nate felt dizzy, for a moment he forgot where he was, who he was. Did he hear her right? Did she really just say that he lost another kid? _No, this can't be happening! _He thought. Part of him knew that it wasn't her fault, but part of him, also, felt betrayed and just wanted to disappear.

"I'm sorry Nate! I'm so, so sorry!" Sophie tried to reach him but he stepped back, that hurt her more then she might ever let him know. "I didn't even know that I was pregnant. One night I felt a really strong pain and I started bleeding all of the sudden, and, and, I went to the doctor, there they told me that I was pregnant and I… I lost the baby."

They were both crying at this point. Both feeling lost.

"Don't look at me like that, you never looked at me like that." He was staring at her with such betrayal in his blue eyes, that used to be so bright and now where dark as the deep ocean. "Nate? Say something please!"

"WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?! THAT THE WOMAN I LOVED LOST MY BABY? THAT I LOST ANOTHER CHILD?!"

"Loved?"

"Uh?"

"You said 'the woman I loved' as in past… As in, you don't love anymore."

Nate stared at her with his mouth open, not really knowing how to respond. He wanted to believe that he still loves her as he always did, but…

"You know what?! I'm gonna get some air!" Nate said and stormed off slamming the door behind him.

Sophie was left alone, crying in the living room. She lost Nate, she lost him forever! The only man she loves, she truly loves, left her. Sophie cried and cried and cried for what it seem like eternity when in fact were an hour and half. She remembered she still had a razor blade hidden under the mattress. Just as she was about to get up and get the blade, the three other members of the team walked in.

Sophie tried to hide her face, tried to hide the fact that she had been crying. Since she was a kid she always cried alone, she never let anyone see tears falling from her eyes.

"What happened Sophie?"

"Nothing." She replied in a raw voice, whipping the tears and cleaning the black mascara that now ran down her face.

"Where's Nate?" Parker asked. Just to hear the mention of his name made Sophie cry again.

Hardison slowly approached her "You told Nate, didn't you?" She slowly nodded.

"I'm gonna kill him." Eliot murmured under his breath.

"NO! You're gonna leave Nate alone! He will come back when he wants!" Sophie took a deep breath "Now I'm gonna go upstairs and pack."

"Pack?"

Sophie nodded "When he comes back, tell him that I'm sorry… And that he doesn't have to look at my face ever again."

And with that Sophie turned around and went to their, now Nate's bedroom, to pack her stuff and leave.

**A/N: I'M BACK! Sorry, but school got in the way and then came 'writer's block'! I decided to do a little Hardison/Sophie moment because I think they're friendship is really cool. Sophie finally told Nate, he didn't take it very well, and now Sophie is leaving. What do you think is going to happen? Let me know what you think of this chapter. Reviews are much appreciated. **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Okay, so it took a long time to write this. Again, blame school! Sorry for all the mistakes but English is not my native language. Hope you like this.**

_And with that Sophie turned around and went to their, now Nate's room, to pack her stuff and leave._

**Chapter 7**

Sophie got to Nate's room and softly closed the door, then sank to the ground with her back against it and started sobbing because she knew that she had lost Nate forever.

Hardison, Parker and Eliot watched as Sophie went upstairs. They didn't know what Sophie had told Nate, but they were slightly mad at him. Whatever it was that Sophie told Nate he was supposed to stay there and support her. They all loved Nate, and it might be hard for him too, but Sophie was the main priority.

"I'm goin' up there to talk to her. See if you find Nate." Eliot says pointing at Hardison who nodded and start typing like mad on his laptop.

"No! Let me go talk to her." Four eyes turn to look at Parker who was at a corner of the room watching the interaction between the two men. "I'm her friend! I know you're her friend too, and that you'd probably understand her better, but I'm a girl too, so maybe she prefers to talk to me." After a few seconds Eliot nodded and let Parker go upstairs to talk to their fragile Grifter.

Parker was standing in front of the door of Nate's room. A speech was forming in her mind. She was trying to remember all the tricks that Sophie taught her about how to talk to people. Just as Parker was about to knock, Sophie opens the door.

"Bloody hell, Parker! You scared the life out of me!" Sophie said with a hand over her chest, in a sub-conscious gesture to try to calm her heart.

"I want to talk to you!" The thief said with that blank expression on her face that she usually had when she didn't know what emotion to show and she could see that Sophie had been crying because of the puffy eyes that were also red on the edges, not to talk about the make-up running down her face.

"Okay, let's talk."

Sophie let Parker enter Nate's room and sat on the edge of the bed. The air was a little tense, so to try to easy it a little Sophie smiled at Parker and told her to have a seat. Parker, shyly, sat on the bed where Sophie had gestured and tried to find a way to start the conversation.

"So… What do you want to talk about?" Sophie asked because the silence was becoming awkward. Funny, she thought, when she was in the same room as Nate and they were silent it was never awkward, they always felt comfortable around each other.

"I… Uh… First I wanna let you know that I'm not gonna force you to tell me what happened last week-" Sophie smiled gratefully at that "-and I also want to let you know that I'm here for you just as you're always here for me when I'm sad and I know you're sad now. Right?"

"Yes, Parker, I'm a little sad."

"So that's why I want to talk. To make you feel better."

Sophie nodded and let Parker take control of the conversation. They weren't talking about problems, Sophie was just listening to Parker telling stories about old heists she had pulled and that sort of stuff. Honestly, Sophie was so proud of Parker, she was trying to make her feel better, she was trying to handle a human emotion.

*NATE*

He felt like crap. He sitting at bar's stool somewhere with an untouched whiskey glass between his hands. He was thinking about Sophie, about the woman he loved. No, not loved, the woman he LOVES. He still loves her with all his heart. Closing his eyes he pictures the day he first saw her in Prague and how beautiful she was, he pictures when he saw her two years later in Damascus and how he meant to catch her but her beauty didn't let it happen, he pictures when they shot each other in Paris and how they ended up helping each other afterwards, he pictures their gôndola chase in Venice and how her green dress suited her in all the right places.

He thinks about that day in Chicago when he made the great decision to bring her back into his life, God knew how much he needed her. He thinks about how she carefully held him on that dirty bank floor when he had a bullet hole in his shoulder. He thinks about when he called her and told her all those thinks she so needed to hear. He thinks about the night in San Lorenzo and how he wanted to have her in that bed for the rest of his life. He thinks about that day when he asked her to have dinner with him and how they ended up changing the meaning of the word on their dictionaries.

He loves her so much it hurts, he just wants to go home and hold her tight, close to him and never let her go. He needs to go back home and to exactly that! Tell her that he is sorry for his asshole and selfish reaction. He only thought about his pain and not how she has been dealing with her own pain by herself.

He didn't think about how hard this must be for her. And now she thinks that he doesn't want anything to do with her and that he doesn't love her anymore. He has to show her that that is not true. She needs to hear him say 'I love you'.

Throwing a bill on the counter, next the untouched glass, he left the bar to go home.

*HOME*

"Sophie come on, don't do this!" Hardison said trying to get some sense into the woman and preventing her from leaving.

"Yeah, Nate's probably coming and you guys will talk and figure everything out."

"He's probably drowning himself in a bar somewhere…"

All eyes turn to look at Parker. Seriously, they all loved the girl but her sense of opportunity is the worst.

Sophie decided to ignore the thief's comment and continue with the conversation in hand "That's why I have to go. The talk will be him saying that he doesn't want anything to do with me! I can't hear him say that to me. He hates me now!"

"No he doesn't!"

"Yes he does, he hates me and I deserve that hate! I do!"

"No, you don't." Nate says as he appears on the doorway.

**A/N 2: Sorry for the little cliffhanger... Hope you're still enjoying the story. I don't know if I should make the next chapter the last or continue for a couple more. Please review, this are much appreciated! **


	8. Chapter 8

_"No, you don't." Nate says as he appears on the doorway._

**Chapter 8**

"Nate, I…" The woman he loves tried to say, but he didn't let her finish.

"Can you guys give me and Sophie a minute?"

Hardison, Parker and Eliot left Nate's apartment leaving the couple to handle their issues.

The air was heavy. Very heavy. Nate was trying to make eye contact with Sophie, who was looking everywhere expect for him. He wanted her to look him in the eye so she could see the love he felt for her. Nate also notice the travelling bag that was on the floor next to her. Maybe that would be the easiest thing to start the conversation.

"Why the bag?" He asked nodding his head towards the object.

"I'm leaving." As Nate didn't respond to that, Sophie dared to continue "I figure you don't want me around."

Nate didn't said anything, immediately. She still wouldn't look at him. "You know, you are a very smart woman, the smartest I know. But you can be very, very dumb sometimes!"

A bit taken aback by his statement Sophie looked at him for the first time. And to her surprise he was smiling. Not a wide, ear to ear smile, but a simple smile. She still didn't look him in the eye. "What do you mean?"

"Why won't you look at me in the eye?"

"Because I don't want to see the hate in them!"

"Why do you think you'll find hate?"

"Why do I thin… Why do you think that is Nate?!" Her voice raised a bit and her cheeks were getting red. He knew he shouldn't be thinking about that, but she looked so adorable when she was mad. "I lost your baby! I'm making you go through that experience again! I'm hurting you! I'm making you suffer!"

She was crying now, uncontrollably, and it makes his heart ache! He just wanted to take her in his arms, but something was holding him back. "Look at me." When she didn't, he repeated a bit louder "Look at me!" She did looked at him, just not in the eye. "In the eye Soph. Please!"

She didn't want to, but this would be the last time she would talk to him, so she decided to look. She did loved his eyes, those blue, gorgeous eyes.

"What do you see?"

"Nate, I don't really want to play games!" And she was looking down again. _Great!_ Nate thought sarcastically.

"Fine, I'll tell you what you can see!" He walk up to her and placed his hands on her shoulders so she would look at him, when she didn't, he tucked two fingers under her chin, lifting her head, blue eyes locking with chocolate ones.

As he looked at her eyes he tried to decide where he was going to start. He needed to make this beautiful and stubborn woman see that he loves just as much as he always did! He tried to kiss her because if he was honest with himself he would do that for the rest of his life. Sophie, however, stepped away.

"Nate, this is serious!"

"Sophie -"Nate reached for her hands and intertwined their fingers "- Do you really think I could ever hate you? I love you so much it hurts. I thought it was impossible to love again, but you showed me, once again, how wrong I was. You hold the most special place in my heart and no matter what happens, you'll always mean the world to me."

"Oh Nate!" Sophie broke into a series of sobs. "I thought you didn't want anything to do with me anymore"

"I'll always, always want you by my side, gorgeous. I want to do everything with you and go everywhere with you and it's like the universe seems twice as beautiful with you by my side."

He lovingly stroked her cheek "You're beautiful." He kissed her because her lips are way to inviting. "You are so special" He kissed her again because he liked doing it "You're my girl." Another kiss, because, well, he can. "I love you Soph."

After that he scooped her in his arms and carried her upstairs to their bedroom. A couple of hours later they laid on the bed, only a thin sheet covering their naked bodies. Tired, sweaty and needy bodies. Sophie had her head on Nate's chest, who had one arm around her waist, hand drawing small circles on her hip, while the hand was gently stroking her hair.

After a while, Sophie lifted her head from his chest, looked at him for a bit and then started placing small kisses along his jaw. "You know, there's something I wanted to ask you."

"What is it?" There goes another kiss on her forehead. Not that she minded.

"I remember when I was in the hospital and the doctor came in, she said something like 'I have to do some tests on Mrs. Ford' -" Nate blushed a bit. "- Why did she said that?"

"Soph, I know we are not married and I don't know why I said it, but it just felt right!"

"I love you!"

"I love you too Soph. And, you have to believe me when I say that we'll be okay! Because it may be stormy now, but it can't rain forever."

"Yes we will, my love, we will. But we still need to have a serious talk."

**A/N: Urgh I hate myself for sucking at updates! It's a bit short I know, but I still hope this didn't dissappoint. Please let me know what you think of this chapter by reviweing! And sorry for all the grammar mistakes.**


	9. Chapter 9

_"I love you too Soph. And, you have to believe me when I say that we'll be okay! Because it may be stormy now, but it can't rain forever."_

_"Yes we will, my love, we will. But we still need to have a serious talk."_

**Chapter 9**

The three younger members of the team entered the apartment and noticed that the troubled couple was missing. And there were no signs of war.

"Do you think they went out?"

"I don't know. But the place is strangely and surprisingly quite." Hardison said, answering his girl's question.

"Nate's car was still parked outside." Eliot said.

"I'll go check upstairs." Parker said as she made her way upstairs.

* Meanwhile Upstairs *

Nate and Sophie laid on their bed in each other's arms. Sophie had her head on his chest while Nate had one arm round her waist and the other stroking her hair gently. They weren't really talking. They kissed a little and caressed each other but were silent and enjoying each other's company.

"You know you're beautiful." Nate said breaking the silence.

Sophie lifted her head from his comfortable chest and look at him in the eye. "Thank you." She blushed a bit and placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

Nate however wanted to deep-in the kiss, so he tightened his grip on her waist and brought her body on top of his. Sophie, delightful, giggled and kiss him too, flicking her tongue against his lips to drive him just a little bit crazier. Nate's tongue was demanding and started exploring her mouth. His hands started to make their way to her butt as Sophie's explored Nate's bare chest.

That's how Parker found them. She started screaming and running down stairs. The boys heard her screaming and thought something was wrong. They met halfway through the stairs.

"What happened?"

"They were making-out! It was like their mouths were glued!" Parker screamed with a disgusted look on her face. The boys decided to follow the thief downstairs because, honestly, they didn't want to interfere with Nate and Sophie's sexy times.

Nate and Sophie were still in bed. Nate's face was bright red while Sophie was having a laugh attack. She couldn't stop laughing. The whole situation was so awkward. Nate looked at her and he had to smile. The sight was just too beautiful to be real. Sophie was smiling and laughing for the first time since the accident. Nate kept looking at her, an ear to ear smile playing on his lips.

"What?" Sophie said, her laughter slowly stopping.

"I haven't seen that beautiful smile in weeks!" Nate said while stroking her cheek lovingly.

Sophie smiled at his gesture of affection and gave him a quick kiss. "I'm a bit famish, do you think the others are cooking anything?"

"I think Parker is still washing her eyes!" They both laughed and Nate kissed her forehead. "Come on, let's see how they are." And he took her hand in his and led her downstairs.

They got downstairs and the other three were nowhere to be seen. Eliot left a note addressed to Nate.

_We went for burgers and probably steal something to make Parker happy._

_I figured you two still need to talk._

_Good luck,_

_Eliot_

Nate smiled and mentally thanked the Hitter for leaving them alone. "It appears that we're alone."

"I'm still hungry."

"Let's cook something." Nate cleaned his hands on a cloth "What does the lady desire?"

"Pasta!" Sophie said excitedly.

Nate smile remembering how she had a soft spot for pasta. "Pasta it is."

So together they cooked spaghetti and Nate made his special sauce that Sophie loved. They 'accidently' bumped into each other and kissed a few times. Sophie sat on the counter as Nate stirred the sauce.

"Do you want me to set the table?"

"Yeah, the sauce is almost done."

Sophie sat the table and Nate made the finishing touches to their food. She was already sitting on the table when Nate came carrying two plates of pasta. They ate talking about this and that, glancing gently and lovingly at each other.

After they ate, they cleaned the dishes and were now sitting on the couch. Nate felt that Sophie wasn't as relax as she was before. He sensed that now was the time for their talk.

"Come on, Soph, spit it out."

"Wha… How?"

"I know you." He said and kissed the tip of her nose.

"I just… I'm sorry I didn't tell you when it happened!"

Nate took her hands in his, brought them to his lips and kissed them. "It's okay, darling, it's okay. I just really wished you had told me so I could be there for you and we could get through this together."

"I just didn't know how to tell you. You were finally happy again and I couldn't take that happiness away with this."

"But it would have been better than to have to deal with it by yourself, wouldn't it?" His voice was so gently, so caring, that it drove tears to her eyes. He was such a great person. She loved him more than life itself.

"Yes, maybe, but at the time I was thinking about you and I just couldn't… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry"

"You don't have to be sorry about anything, love. It was not your fault." Nate gently leaned forward and kissed her so appealing lips. "God, I was so scared I was going to lose you. When Parker told me and then when I went to you apartment and I saw you, I think my heart stopped beating, almost literally. I could only breathe again when the doctors informed me you were okay."

"I'm sorry. I was desperate, I was so afraid that you were going to hate that I didn't know what to do. I knew I had to tell you, that you had the right to know, but I just didn't had the courage. That's how coward I am. Of course with that, I felt really bad about myself, I hated the woman I saw in the mirror. I lost the confidence in myself."

"Soph, look at me. You are an amazing woman. You are strong, you're smart, you're brave, you're beautiful, you're sexy, you're you. The best there is. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you."

Sophie took that deep breath that had been holding on her lungs as soon as the conversations started. "Doesn't if feel better to tell someone?" Nate asked while rubbing his hands up and down her back.

Sophie nodded and laid her head on his shoulder and kissed his neck. "Thank you for being perfect for me."

**A/N: Alright! It took me forever to write this! Thankfully school is done so I have more free time to write! Things are finally good! Next chapter will the last one. Hope you enjoyed this one and PLEASE let me know what you think by reviewing!**


	10. Chapter 10

_Sophie nodded and laid her head on his shoulder and kissed his neck. "Thank you for being perfect for me."_

**Chapter 10**

A month had passed and things were finally normal again. They got back to do jobs. The usual, Sophie meeting the clients with Nate and conning everyone that was considered a bad guy, Nate always thinking about the plans, Hardison hacking, Parker crawling through air vents and Eliot punching people.

Nate and Sophie's relationship was stronger than ever. They were closer and closer. They went out on dates a lot! On the nights they didn't go out, they stayed cuddle up on their couch watching a movie or in their bed having 'dinner'. Sometimes they had dinner, the food kind, with the rest of the team at the brewpub. Talking about old jobs or Nate and Sophie's life pre-Leverage Team or someone talked about their past, which was pretty rare.

Nate couldn't believe that it was possible to love Sophie even more, but with each day that passed he loved her more and more. At his eyes, mind and heart Sophie was the true definition of perfection. He knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with this wonderful woman. He wanted to fall asleep beside her when the day is done and wake up to her face against the morning sun. Nate had to ask Sophie to marry him. Simple as that.

They were now doing a job. Easy and simple, Nate said, but it was involving a lot of grifting skills by Sophie. She was tired. Everyone noticed that. They also noticed that she hadn't been eating much lately. She looked exhausted. And it was, slowly, starting to notice on her grifting. They were all worried about her. Parker was scared that she would cut herself again so she made sure that her beloved Sophie was never alone.

Nate was watching Sophie talking to the mark through the security cameras. She had spitted her web and had the mark hooked around her little finger. Nate watched as Sophie made her way out of the bar she had been meeting the mark and told her, through comms, to meet him at their place. It always brought smiles to both their faces when they thought about that. After giving her instructions, Nate turned off the security feed and waited for Sophie to get there.

Suddenly, Nate, Hardison, Parker and Eliot heard a weird noise. Like a body falling and hitting the ground.

"Everyone okay?" Eliot asked and everyone answered except Sophie.

"Sophie, you okay? Soph?!" Nate tried but received no answer.

Hardison and Parker were the closest to her last known location and soon got there to find their Grifter on the floor and couple of people around her trying to see what had happened. Someone had probably called an ambulance because one pulled up and the paramedics started to check Sophie's unconscious body.

Hardison finally answered Nate who had been desperately shouting at everyone that could give him an answer on his woman's state.

Nate and Eliot met Hardison and Parker at the hospital and were waiting on news about their precious Grifter. After half an hour, a doctor appeared and informed them that Sophie was fine and that a nurse would come to take them to her room. Nate asked what had happened and the doctor said that she fainted, no surprise to anyone, but he couldn't tell them why and they were running some tests to find the cause.

They all followed the nurse who would take them to Sophie's room and they agreed that Nate should be the first one to go in. She was already awake when Nate got there.

"Hey." Sophie said kind of weakly as Nate made his way inside the room

"Hey Beautiful." Nate bent down and kissed her forehead. "You should really stop scarring me like that."

"Sorry about that."

"Do you have any idea why you fainted?" Sophie shook her head and Nate sighed "I told you to eat breakfast this morning."

"Let's not do the 'I told you so…' game!"

"Okay, okay." He held his hands up in surrender. "Does your head hurt?" Nate asked while touching her forehead.

"Why?" She said confused clearly not understanding why he was asking her that.

"Cause you have a little bump. You probably hit your head when you fell."

"Oh." Sophie brought her hand where his hand was and felt the bump he was talking about. "It doesn't really hurt."

The doctor came in with the results of the tests. "Can I speak to Ms. Devereaux alone?"

"Yeah, I'll just wait outside." Nate said as he got up and kissed Sophie on her forehead again.

Once Nate left the doctor turned to Sophie. "Okay, the tests we took showed that you are slightly anemic, which explains the faint. But there's something else you should know. You're pregnant."

Sophie looked at the doctor with her mouth open. What did he just said? That she was pregnant? Pregnant as in expecting a baby? What is happening?

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. I'll just sign the papers and you can go home. Congratulations."

Doctor left the room and looked at Nate "Congratulations." Nate just looked at him like he had two heads. What did the doctor meant?

Sophie was beaming with excitement! She couldn't believe it! She looked at Nate through the room's window.

"Nate?!" She called him and he turned around and looked at her through the window. "I'm pregnant!"

"What?"

"I'm pregnant!"

His eyes widened and when her words finally registered on his mind, he raced inside the room and almost jumped on the bed next to Sophie.

"Are you serious?"

Sophie beamed, in fact she never stopped beaming, and nodded her head yes. Nate simply kissed and felt her smile as they both deepened the kiss. Outside there were three people waiting for permission to get in and celebrate with the rest of the family.

When the couple, finally, separated in need of oxygen, since it's important and all, they looked at the 'kids' and Sophie told them they could come in.

They all celebrated that night at the brewpub. Eliot cooked, Hardison and Parker set the table while Nate and Sophie were upstairs, relaxing, in one of the rooms Hardison had.

The couple was resting on the bed. Sophie had her head on his chest and, from time to time, placed small pecks on his neck and jaw. Nate, on the other hand, had his arms around her and also placed gentle kisses on her forehead and hair.

"'We're having a baby, Soph."

"We're having a baby." Sophie agreed and placed another kissed on his jaw. Nate turned his head a little so he could kiss her lips.

They were both happy and relax in each other's arms. They still couldn't believe it. A baby. A human being that was half Sophie and half Nate. A new member to their family. Almost for sure the kid was going to be the greatest grifter, mastermind, hacker, hitter and thief of all times. Or maybe he, or she, was going to shock them all by pursuing something else that was not a criminal life. They know that the baby will perfect, anyway.

Nate smiled happy because he had his Soph back. And of course, if she was happy he was happy. She was his life, his world, his universe. And now the baby as well. He already loved him/her so much. Nate knew that he would do anything to make sure Sophie and the baby were always safe.

**A/N: Well, this is the end of 'Now That I Have You'. I really didn't know how to end this but I don't think it was such a bad ending. Little corny maybe! Anyway really hope you like it! Please, PLEASE let me know what you thought by reviewing.**


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